I've noticed that most people in our lives, but only those not a part of the system, feel compelled to say disparaging things about Jay's bio mom and his first foster mom. I have nothing bad to say about either of these women, and I don't share details, although I do say how well his foster mom cared for him and loved him. But people keep saying how awful these women are, and how lucky he is to be with me, and how his whole life will improve drastically now that he's with us. Things like, "Well no wonder he's eating/sleeping better, he's finally getting love." I don't agree with any of it. It seems that people feel the need to knock down the other moms in order to boost me up? Maybe they think I need that? I don't. I don't feel insecure or threatened by any other mother, and I don't need to be the best. But it must be human nature to compete with other parents, because everyone is saying it.
It's telling of how we, as a society, view foster care, foster parents, and bio parents. If they all get immediately bashed with no info to base the bashing on. It's like people are viewing the beginnings of his life as him on the floor of an orphanage in his own feces. It's not a sentiment I agree with, nor do the other foster parents I know. Maybe people watch too many Save the Children telethons or exposés on 60 Minutes. I don't know, but it's inaccurate and sad. This baby has been loved an cared for every minute since he was born, and no one knows what his in utero life was like, so that's just speculation.
We don't need to bash bio parents or other foster parents. We are all just doing the best we can.
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